April 10, 2001 As lower Mustang valley opened up before us we discovered it was rolling hills with a spectacular backdrop of shining glacier peaks on all sides. To the north just eroded desert hills (so Tibetan). The whole valley was studded with monastaries, chortens, stupas and temples. Six villages here all under the banner of Muktinath. Sparks! Talked to a charming young person from Hong Kong on a University class trip AND when I proposed to Heather that I would like to spend an extra day in this lower Mustang area to explore she said “well, you said you might walk back to Pokhara… that means that you don’t have to be on OUR schedule" (she proposed to hike a couple of hours onward in reaction to Shane’s comment that it would be nice to have a break from hiking tomorrow). “Well that means I would be saying goodbye to you both here” I said. Even though that was five minutes ago I can’t recall what her response was – chalk this all up to altitude-addled senses. Sigh. Late night. Just had an amazing talk with Heather. She has made absolutely clear that she understands everything that happened over the last 14 days of our trek. 1) Fear about the length and challenges of the trek took her attention. 2) Anxiety and resistance to the trek experience opened the door to lots of physical illness. 3) I did not have the presence of mind to ask what each trek member’s fears were (most gracefully done by offering my own fear first (e.g. “I’m afraid you won’t have a good time”). 4) “Love is letting go of fear”: just say what it is you are fearing rather than subtly letting that fear make you its slave. 5) She and Shane have never before been on a trek -Of this length -With developing country standard amenities -With this level of physical stamina required -With the challenge represented by an 18,000 foot pass 6) I was expecting to have Shane and Heather enjoy those things that I love about trekking in Nepal / this type of experience (tastes which I have developed over long exposure to this kind of scenario). 7) What she in fact needed to learn was the powerful lessons about: -This will all be OK -She can more than handle this -she is strong enough -she is fit enough And learning these most key lessons left little surplus time for exploring the cultural aspects of the villages we visited. 8) Every other trek they will ever do will be less challenging than this one in terms of length and altitude. They can compare and master all future treks against this experience. 9) She let her most ugly sides show and regrets this. Some of the talk about honestly stating fears turned up my parent’s support for my trip. I tried to think about what it might be that they fear: - missing me on a daily basis (after all I lived at home for the last three years and we spent lots of time together) - Me going off and becoming a stranger to them - Superficial fear that I will be “a failure” and unhappy - That they won’t know what to tell their peers about what I am doing should I become “a failure” Thinking about all this makes me want to call them right away when we reach Jomsom. Shane and Heather are leaving here at 1 PM tomorrow via the shortcut route that skips Kagbeni. I will explore the Muktinath area tomorrow morning but also think I would enjoy staying longer here. There is so much to see in lower Mustang.